I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
