the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
