dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
