i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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