I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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