All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
