i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
