I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You can't just leave with hair like that
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
