Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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