Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
