God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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