Kiss
Puke
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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