If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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