U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
