They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
