So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
