This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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