I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
