my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
