The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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