Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
