I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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