I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
