he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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