The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
