I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
