Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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