Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
