as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
