Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
