i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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