scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
