Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
