I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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