She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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