he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
