Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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