More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
