Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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