She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
worst night to have a conscience
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
