i jhust puked up my retainher.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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