Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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