she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
