I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
