Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
do herpes really smell.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
