I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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