I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
