Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
