I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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