no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
